For The Mom Ready To Regain Perspective On Herself… Now What?
A few months ago I shared some strategies for rediscovering yourself – for taking some time and finding out what makes you, you. Who are you, besides just a mom? How do you regain that perspective in your life once again?
In Part 2, it’s time to focus on how to ward off mom guilt when making time to do the things you love.
Taking Yourself Off The Back Burner
You have your list, you have your needs and wants all tabled out, and you have a plan of action – excited to create some needed “me time” to reach those personal goals you have created. You are fully prepared to take it one step at a time. Hooray!
Then, suddenly, you feel that reluctance, or perhaps you feel like it sounds good in theory but difficult to actually take a break in the schedule for yourself.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
However, it’s important that you don’t let it take hold. That feeling of always having something else replace your scheduled time can, if occurring too often, have huge implications on your confidence, self-esteem and, essentially, your drive. While plans may change occasionally, do not let that always mean that you must make the sacrifice. The time you dedicate for your own work or activity must be valued…just as any other activity for the kids, for the partner, or for the home. That “me time” was planned out and has a purpose, just as a paying job, exercise, writing or reading each has a purpose.
When you’re in a position where you are low on time, and it may mean that you must put off some of the items on your list for the day, be sure to take the following steps:
- Reschedule immediately (mark it in your calendar and list it as a “Rescheduled Session”). Doing so will serve as a reminder that you already put it off once, and next time something else will have to budge.
- Consider if you are scheduling too many things in one day and spreading yourself thin. Take it week by week vs. day by day. Self-journey is a marathon, not a sprint.
- Find help. Talk to a friend, family member or coach who may be able to help with pick-up or drop-off if you are running late. Having a backup plan always helps lessen the “mom guilt”.
As a mother, you may have a tendency to put your family before yourself. It is human nature, and when something doesn’t go quite right, or that brunch you planned ran later than expected, or perhaps your new job had a last-minute meeting, you find yourself saying things like “Oh, I’m sorry” or “I shouldn’t have…”
Are you nodding your head because this sounds familiar?
Here is the plain and simple truth…
Yes, you are a mom and, yes, that means YOU ARE HUMAN! Things happen, and 80% of the time (well, likely more than 80% of the time) you’re hustling and doing things well, whether you give yourself credit for it or not. So, allow yourself to make mistakes; allow yourself forgiveness for being late, and allow yourself to have that extra chat if that is what makes you feel good. Stop being sorry for being human. Everyone is allowed to give themselves a much-needed break 20% of the time… we’re not superhuman and we’re definitely not capable of getting it all done perfectly on the dot.
Allowing yourself to relax, and not always being sorry for those hiccups that will occur, will give you some breathing room to just be. That will help you greatly as you map out your year ahead, and ward off ugly mom guilt. You know you’re amazing, right? (And that guilt? Well, it just has to go!)
A Happy Mom, A Happy Life, Happier Kids
Overall, The Year Of Me is a goal to find inner happiness and find yourself again. That sense of self is an important feature you cannot afford to lose. It is your essence and what makes you the unique being you are.
Remember that. Hold on to that. Put it on a sticky note!
If The Year Of Me has resonated with you – if you feel that you’ve lost perspective, and are really excited about once again finding that path to doing the things you love – then continue toward your goals. Remember that being you – the best version of you – will help you rediscover the whole, well-rounded version of yourself that you thought was missing. It may bring about a different kind of happiness, apart from the joys of motherhood.
While striving to achieve your goals, remind yourself that your children will benefit from seeing your joy and sharing in your journey, and they’ll learn from the strides you have taken. It will teach them to try their best and, in turn, they will be happy that you’re happy.
Don’t lose sight of your goals – there is so much more to The Year of Me than just you. ❤️
Mother of toddlers, foodie at heart, city-loving, blogger, writer, marketing specialist, and overall busy-bee, that is Christina Chandra in a nutshell. Christina lives in Vancouver where she is a freelance writer & marketing specialist, and also blogs at ChristinaChandra.com. In her spare time, you can find her exploring local eateries, cafes and local hot spots.