So much of being a mom is a learning process. The minute that baby was placed in our arms, it was all on us. It was our job to give this tiny, little human the perfect babyhood. And as new moms, we thought we had it down. No one could take care of our baby like we could, and judgment flew easily on moms who did it differently. As for our non-mom friends, well they couldn’t possibly understand our new life and how hard it was.
The first baby was somewhat of a sacred child that no one else could hold right, touch right, feed right…not even daddy. We didn’t leave them until the ripe old age of 18 months and that was only with our own mothers. We saw moms go back to work, and we just couldn’t imagine leaving our child…ever.
Fast forward to our third and fourth kids. We are the moms that new moms look at shaking their heads, swearing they would never!!
That’s the funny thing about being a mom, you grow up as your kids grow up. Nothing beats experience, and you quickly (hopefully) learn that this whole mom thing isn’t done one way. You change, your children change, and the perfectionism you have with the first quickly (thankfully) goes out the window.
For all the new moms out there, you’ll probably read this and cry, shake your head and say never ever. We know this because we would have done the exact same thing.
Here’s what we would tell our first-time mom selves about having 3rd and 4th babies (and to be honest probably our 2nd ones, too)!
- They’ll never get a first birthday party (and probably not a 2nd or 3rd one either…sorry, but it’s the truth).
- They’ll get ripped off from their bed time and nap time – a lot.
- They’ll get less of us: less one-on-one time and we won’t answer to their every whimper.
- They’ll never have matching socks and their outfits will most likely have a stain on them somewhere and will most likely be too big or too small.
- They’ll start wrestling with their siblings before they can even hold their head up.
- They’ll never go to music class or any other class until they can ask for it themselves.
- They’ll often be found sucking back any and all glasses left for the taking (and food on the floor for that matter).
- They’ll eat PB & J by 4 months because their siblings try to feed them.
- They’ll never get specially made, organic, ice cube tray food. In fact, at 7 months they’ll know exactly what cake, ice cream and candy are and will make sure they don’t miss out.
- They won’t have monitors or “baby toys” (well except for maybe one grandma gave them because she found it unacceptable that they don’t have a toy suitable for their age).
But there is no doubt that even though our second, third, fourth (or however many thereafter) babies get less of us, they get better versions of us. They get MORE LOVE than any of the others, because there are more people in our crazy, beautiful family who welcome them into the world and show them love every single day. They’ll more than likely be the most capable of the bunch.
And they’ll have the best built-in crew you could ever imagine. ❤️
Catherine Belknap and Natalie Telfer are entrepreneurs, YouTubers, Facebook Live hosts, media personalities, and brand spokespeople. Together, they parent seven children, manage two husbands and run Social Common, a one of a kind digital platform for moms. Through their candid videos, Cat & Nat share the real, raw, uncensored side of motherhood with moms all around the world.