Achieve a mindset of gratitude, happiness and positivity after feeling the opposite. Yes, it is possible.
We know it’s been quite a year (and a bit).
In fact, more and more mothers across the globe have been vocal about expressing the difficulties of parenthood in a pandemic. Whether it’s the questioning of normalcy, what is acceptable, the judging, the guilt, or overall tiredness of trying to do it all. We remember the home schooling, cooking, entertaining kids and trying to also practice self-care.
However, moms, it’s time to flip your mindset and reclaim all that positive energy you may have thought you lost. Let’s work on shedding the negative outlook that may have come into play more times than we would have liked. The simple act of acknowledging that a shift is needed is a big step.
We know you want to feel better, and it all starts with mindset.
Here are some ways to build a healthy mindset
Let’s look forward.
While these tips take practice, and some may not be for everyone, we recommend reading through and choosing at least one to try. See how it feels and practice it. Give yourself time.
With anything new there is discomfort, but keep at it and see if it makes a difference. In fact, we encourage you to believe it will (it’s a tip, you’ll see).
While this may be difficult upon first glance, or easy to dismiss, there are actually many many many types of journaling. You can purchase very simple ones that are guided vs. a diary form. These guided ones can be found on Amazon, Indigo, your local bookstore, you name it.
It doesn’t have to be fancy but you can start practicing jotting down some thoughts on a daily basis.
You can write from the heart, focussing on how your day was and what you felt great about or what you didn’t feel great about. Releasing your emotions on paper is a great way of identifying things that you want to improve, but also catching your negative thoughts in action.
If using a guided journal, you can simply fill in blanks or answer questions already provided in a book. A quick search will show you options available. See what interests you and just give it a shot.
Tip: Before you sit down to journal, try to find a quiet opportunity to do so (perhaps post-bedtime). It is a great time to reflect.
2. Move Your Body
There is a mind and body connection that cannot be ignored. Many fitness experts, naturopaths, holistic healers and coaches agree that there is a deep link between how your body and mind work as one.
Prolonged stress, lack of sleep and negative thoughts or emotions all impact the way we physically feel. In turn, after some form of activity that our body loves (dancing, running), the mind feels rejuvenated and restored. Those endorphins are no joke!
Even if you are not into yoga or sports, there is always some type of movement that your body can benefit from. Perhaps it is a simple walk, a 10 minute dance party with the kids, a fitness app on your phone (7M is a great one that is free), or just using a step tracker and setting it to a certain limit… it all counts!
Tip: find something you love and do it more often and schedule it just like you would an appointment.
3. Believe Everything Happens For a Reason
Although this sounds cliché, it’s definitely something that has been seen to have an everlasting impact on what occurs.
The theory is that if you are always assuming that the worst will happen, you may be subconsciously sabotaging yourself because you believe that is the case.
How about if you flipped that thought and didn’t assign a positive or negative connotation to events? What if you just looked at each event as something that was meant to occur to teach a life lesson? Perhaps you are able to overcome obstacles and realize you are stronger than you ever believed. Perhaps you are meant to go on a journey to become the best version of yourself. Perhaps you need to experience certain things to achieve a lifelong goal.
Believe that people and events come into your path for a lesson… enjoy the journey and try not to question why, but rather accept this is the present path and believe you’re on it for a reason.
Tip: Set a reminder to tell yourself this, on your phone or physically write a note somewhere you will see and recite it to yourself.
4. You Do Not Control Your Circumstance, But You Can Control Your Perception
Wanting to control what happens in your life and perhaps even the action of others is a very natural instinct for some reason. It isn’t possible or realistic, however.
We are simply not meant to control every situation, every person, every conversation to fit our ideals. If that were the case, there would be no value or lessons in life (see #3).
Believe that while you do not have full control over something that may happen to you or around you, you can control your perception or the way you react to it.
You can choose to accept it, be happy, mad, sad, etc. Practice accepting all the good and bad as part of your journey; the less you fight it, and the more you choose to learn everything you can from it, the better you will intrinsically feel.
Tip: Daily practice acceptance of where you are in present time, the things that have brought you to present time. Accept that is your truth and see how your perception changes. Take note (perhaps in your journal?).
5. It is OK to Feel Any Emotion
This is a big ONE. So often we try to regulate how we SHOULD feel, vs. allowing us to JUST feel.
It’s very simple — every emotion is valid, every single one. It’s what makes us human… and all emotions exist in the human race.
Now, if you do not want to react in a certain way, the trick is to recognize and be in tune with your emotions and find what triggers those ones you wish to work on. For many this is anger or sadness. If you don’t want to react in an angry way, but you feel angry, accept that is how you feel and then take some time out for yourself and talk it out. Ask yourself how you want to react to this situation and give yourself the space and time to do so.
Tip: Practice releasing emotions by talking to a trusted friend in the moment. Or try exercise, meditation… whatever works for you. Do not bottle things up.
6. Practice Gratitude
Oprah does it, so it must be good. 😉
Every day it’s recommended to practice some form of gratitude… yes, even in the toughest of times. There are blessings – things to be thankful and grateful for – if you look for them. Is it your child(red), spouse, your home, work or health? Having someone special in your life, a book, an experience, the earth, a sport you love?
Find things to be truly thankful for, even if they no longer exist — if they were in your life and taught you something or brought you joy. The more you find things to be thankful for, the more of a shift you will feel in your life.
You are changing your outlook and attracting energy that you won’t even realize. Try it.
Tip: Every day try to pick 1-3 items. Take your time and as you say them (or write them out), focus on why you’re truly grateful for them.
7. Use a Meditation App
While meditation is definitely not easy – and even those who have done it for years suggest it’s something that takes practice – it doesn’t mean that there aren’t aids to help.
In fact, there are many guided meditations available that have soothing voices or sounds for you to focus on. There are steps telling you how to find peace in the moment, relax your body and mind.
Meditation is associated with a more positive mindset, healthier perceptions, and more connection with your mind/body, as well as feeling more balanced in general. There are many other benefits to meditation, and releasing stress is one that resonates with many.
Here are some free meditation apps to try:
- Insight Timer
- Healthy Minds Program
- You can also find meditation tracks on YouTube and Spotify
While nothing happens overnight, just as you can change your body, you can truly flip your mindset. The mind is a powerful tool and the brain is actually a muscle. Therefore, if you train it properly, it will provide you a healthier mindset… makes sense, right?
Try one and if you feel ready, try another.
Go at your own pace and know that you will be great. Believe it. You deserve it.
Mother of two, foodie at heart, city-loving blogger, writer, marketing specialist, and overall busy-bee: that is Christina Chandra in a nutshell. Christina lives in Vancouver where she is a freelance writer & marketing specialist, and also blogs at ChristinaChandra.com. In her spare time, you can find her exploring local eateries, cafes and hot spots.